Due to an unfortunate typographical error in a recent memo from the Chief of Police a large percentage of Toronto officers were assigned to a task force to tackle an Organized Mime Syndicate.
Several suspects were brought in for questioning but the task force was unable to break their strict code of silence.
The memo was subsequently rewritten and the task force disbanded.
What’s wrong with the UK?
They have strange almost impenetrable accents, not like the accents you hear back home.
They drive on the wrong side of the road, not the normal side like almost every other country.
Their electrical current is twice as high as any other country and they have strange three-pin electrical outlets that your appliances don’t fit. What the heck is that about?
Their money is stupid! Pence? This isn’t the Victorian Age!
Their food isn’t like you have back home. They eat some weird stuff, like toads stuffed into holes and spotted dicks.
They definitely don’t have enough TV channels. When you visit the UK you end up having to talk to people or go out and see stuff or go to the pub. There just isn’t enough to keep you occupied on TV. Or telly, as they call it, since we are talking about their strange language.
And you never know what kind of beer you are going to get when you visit one of their pubs. Back home you can go anywhere and reliably get the same product from one end of Canada to the other, and it tastes the same everywhere. You definitely don’t have to get accustomed to something new or different just because you are in a different place and someone decided to serve a locally brewed ale.
And lastly, what is with all the “please” and “thank you” and “alright lads?” and “what’ll it be love?” In short, what is with all the politeness, friendliness and genuine outgoing-ness? That’s not how we do things back home!
Then again, maybe the problem with the UK is the tourists!
Navigator21: Understanding the 21st Century 